Writing earlier this morning about knowing people you have never met, has led me to ponder this question, do we really love others?
We all have special people in our lives that we love for one reason or another. Of course we love our spouses, our children, or parents, and other family members. Some of us have close friends of whom we have learned to love as well. We may love the way they appreciate us, how they make us feel important or how they make us feel intelligent. We may love the things they do for us. There are thousands of reasons you may love others depending on who you are and what your needs may be.
Accepting all of this things are wonderful. But, do we stop to think that while we love others for all these things, in actuality, we ourselves are not loving. We are accepting their love. It is only when we return these things to the ones' who go to great lengths for us, we are giving love to them. If we fail to give the love we feel for another, the love we feel is in vain - remaining only a selfish possession that is so longed for by the ones' who give us their love so freely.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Knowing The Unknown
Sometimes in life, you stumble across the most amazing people. This is one of the things I like about the internet. Although you may never meet some of the one's you may get to know via the internet, you still develope the recognition of who that person is through their writings and posstings of opinions. You can spend a whole lifetime with some people - spend huge amounts of time together and never really know anything about them at all. You may get to know what they like in their coffee, what style of clothing they prefer, what their hobbies are, but all these things are superficial. Knowing these things isn't knowing the person - it is knowing that you have the ability to observe and remember such things. Sometimes we mistake our ability to observe and remember for knowing. We are satisfied with just what we observe about others and really knowing them becomes less important.
What is in one's heart comes out in words, whether it be spoken or written. More often than not, for a lot of people, hearing is thought to be just the ability to do just that - hear with our ears only. But, I think hearing others words is much more than that. Hearing involves thinking about and meditating about the words we hear. Doing this leads to greater understanding when we hear what one has to say at any given time, meditating on it, and putting that together with words said in the future from the same person and meditating on those as well. At first the hearer may only get some understanding from what they heard, but after future meditation, their mind is capable of getting further understanding from the words.
I believe because of lack of this understanding of hearing, that it can be easier for one to really get to know another by never meeting them and reading their written word. Reading takes concentration and thought. It shows more of a desire to really want to know what others are saying because the reader has to take the action and make the effort. Most people when they read pause at various times to ponder the significance of what they read and how it relates to the whole picture thus far. They go back to it in their mind during the day giving it more thought. When they put the written words down and return to it, they first take a moment to put themselves back into what the other has written. Sometimes, even months after reading something, a new understanding with deeper meaning comes to the reader.
Sometimes we get frustrated because we don't feel as if others are talking to us and letting us know how they feel. When we find ourselves in this position, it may be helpful to look to ourselves to see how we are hearing.
What is in one's heart comes out in words, whether it be spoken or written. More often than not, for a lot of people, hearing is thought to be just the ability to do just that - hear with our ears only. But, I think hearing others words is much more than that. Hearing involves thinking about and meditating about the words we hear. Doing this leads to greater understanding when we hear what one has to say at any given time, meditating on it, and putting that together with words said in the future from the same person and meditating on those as well. At first the hearer may only get some understanding from what they heard, but after future meditation, their mind is capable of getting further understanding from the words.
I believe because of lack of this understanding of hearing, that it can be easier for one to really get to know another by never meeting them and reading their written word. Reading takes concentration and thought. It shows more of a desire to really want to know what others are saying because the reader has to take the action and make the effort. Most people when they read pause at various times to ponder the significance of what they read and how it relates to the whole picture thus far. They go back to it in their mind during the day giving it more thought. When they put the written words down and return to it, they first take a moment to put themselves back into what the other has written. Sometimes, even months after reading something, a new understanding with deeper meaning comes to the reader.
Sometimes we get frustrated because we don't feel as if others are talking to us and letting us know how they feel. When we find ourselves in this position, it may be helpful to look to ourselves to see how we are hearing.
Contentment
A happy man finds joy in what is his, not wanting something because someone else has it. He never loses his desire for what he has acquired. A discontent man finds fault in all that is his, forgetting his labor which was put into gaining what he has. It is not that the possessions of the discontented man has changed. The discontent loose the desire for the very thing about his possessions that made him want them in the first place.
Being discontent with what you have is a result of ourselves changing. This doesn't apply to just material possessions but also to relationships. Some say they have grown as their reasoning for changing relationships. We perceive growing older and lack of committment within ourselves for growing. But, growing up is realizing the fact that keeping a committment is the true growth.
Lack of committment to others results in a change in our hearts and minds. As love is a gift given for no other reason than it is ours to give, so is committment. Committment from one is not dependent on another keeping their committment. It is not a reward which is earned by another than is to be taken away if they fall short to your expectations.
The one who keeps their committment to another regardless of others lack of committment in return gains respect and leaves the one lacking committment in the relationship with humility. The uncommitted witness and learn from the committed the need for growth in their own life and heart.
Sometimes we don't realize that if we ask for conditions to be met for us to commit to something, we are not really committing to anything at all. We are only asking for someone else to commit to us.
Being discontent with what you have is a result of ourselves changing. This doesn't apply to just material possessions but also to relationships. Some say they have grown as their reasoning for changing relationships. We perceive growing older and lack of committment within ourselves for growing. But, growing up is realizing the fact that keeping a committment is the true growth.
Lack of committment to others results in a change in our hearts and minds. As love is a gift given for no other reason than it is ours to give, so is committment. Committment from one is not dependent on another keeping their committment. It is not a reward which is earned by another than is to be taken away if they fall short to your expectations.
The one who keeps their committment to another regardless of others lack of committment in return gains respect and leaves the one lacking committment in the relationship with humility. The uncommitted witness and learn from the committed the need for growth in their own life and heart.
Sometimes we don't realize that if we ask for conditions to be met for us to commit to something, we are not really committing to anything at all. We are only asking for someone else to commit to us.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Blessings From God
Some look at life and see all the problems and complications that are before them. I guess you could say they can look at my life and see the same things. There are a lot of problems and things that need to be overcome in my life. Physical problems, financial problems, relationship problems - some major, some minor.
But when others look at my life and at their own lives I want them to see what I see.
I have a wonderful husband. Eventhough there are battles to face and hills to climb, God has blessed me with a loving man that I care deeply about. I have two wonderful daughters, and I can't stress the word wonderful enough when it comes to them. My oldest is the apple in one eye and the youngest is the apple of the other eye. They both love the Lord with all their heart. They are caring, generous, loving, compassionate and support me even when things are rough. I have a wonderful son-in-law, also. He too is caring and loving to others but more than that he serves the Lord along with my daughter in their church. He is more than a son-in-law to me - he is a son.
I have my mother, who lives with me and I admit at times there are battles and hills to climb on that front as well. But, she is always there for me when I need it helping me whatever the need may be.
I have a loving, caring, and compassionate church family and friends who are always there praying and lifting my needs up and give a shoulder whenever I need one.
But, most of all I have the Lord. On Him I can depend and trust. He is always here and never leaves. He not only gives me a place to go with my concerns, but he bears them for me and holds me up and leads me each step of the way while He's doing it.
God has given me these blessings in life. And no matter what mountains I have to climb or what difficulties come along, they can not compare to the blessings I have. When I look at the blessings, all the difficulties just seems so small. The blessings remind me that if God loves me enough to give such wonderful gifts, I am foolish to let the difficulties of this life concern me. After all, He is there to bear them for me. When I put my trust and faith in him and remain faithful through all that comes along, I can smile and know that all is well with my soul.
But when others look at my life and at their own lives I want them to see what I see.
I have a wonderful husband. Eventhough there are battles to face and hills to climb, God has blessed me with a loving man that I care deeply about. I have two wonderful daughters, and I can't stress the word wonderful enough when it comes to them. My oldest is the apple in one eye and the youngest is the apple of the other eye. They both love the Lord with all their heart. They are caring, generous, loving, compassionate and support me even when things are rough. I have a wonderful son-in-law, also. He too is caring and loving to others but more than that he serves the Lord along with my daughter in their church. He is more than a son-in-law to me - he is a son.
I have my mother, who lives with me and I admit at times there are battles and hills to climb on that front as well. But, she is always there for me when I need it helping me whatever the need may be.
I have a loving, caring, and compassionate church family and friends who are always there praying and lifting my needs up and give a shoulder whenever I need one.
But, most of all I have the Lord. On Him I can depend and trust. He is always here and never leaves. He not only gives me a place to go with my concerns, but he bears them for me and holds me up and leads me each step of the way while He's doing it.
God has given me these blessings in life. And no matter what mountains I have to climb or what difficulties come along, they can not compare to the blessings I have. When I look at the blessings, all the difficulties just seems so small. The blessings remind me that if God loves me enough to give such wonderful gifts, I am foolish to let the difficulties of this life concern me. After all, He is there to bear them for me. When I put my trust and faith in him and remain faithful through all that comes along, I can smile and know that all is well with my soul.
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